Map Review of f-zero-x

Map review of F-zero X

by dunkelschwamm | December 1, 2021 | 2709 characters

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Quomodo umquam domum perveniam postquam tam celeriter fui?

F-Zero X is a racing game for the N64 known for intense speeds, gravity-defying courses, rockin' soundtracks, and BOOST POWER.

f_zero_x, the map for Sven Coop, is a barely functioning facsimile of F-Zero X which features a crunched version of Dream Catcher from the F-Zero X soundtrack and gameplay to match the seizure-inducing flashing start area. That's actually worth mentioning a little greater, actually:


Let's talk a little more about the movement speed, actually: the movement speed in this map is… UP there. The max speed is set to 60,000 and it manifests as the player immediately colliding with the wall straight ahead of them when they decide to move. Once the player manages to escape the flashing lobby despite these speeds those speeds will hinder the player far more than help them on the track. The track has multiple 90 degree turns with abrupt dropoffs, so if the player presses forward while moving down this track of road at all they will likely fly off the edge and die.

The track itself actually seems to move the player itself. It's unclear if it's a push area or a conveyor track, but some force keeps the player moving down the track most of the time, with a little extra nudge when the player goes over a boostpad.

I've completed the track multiple times and there doesn't seem to be an ending. The track itself, by the way, is far more akin to an F-Zero track than an F-Zero X track in that it is flat and mostly visually unappealing. Stretched, distorted boxes featuring the F-Zero boxart loom like skyscrapers above the track.

Look, it's bad. It's a waste of space in your Sven Coop. It's not really even a novelty, it's just annoying. I recommend against playing this one or adding it to any servers. Any comedy that can be gleaned from people flying off the edge will be drained in short order.


  • It's fun that the player model is a vehicle reminiscent of one from F-Zero.


  • Looks bad.
  • Plays bad.
  • Kinda sounds bad.
  • There is very little point to the map.
  • Just moving the player is a nightmare.
Score: 0 / 10
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