Map Review of 5chan

Map review of 5chan

by GrandmasterJ | December 5, 2021 | 3056 characters

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I didn't really know what to expect from this map. I played it after the 4chan gasworks map, and just like that map the strange novelty wears off all too soon. Also, this map is labelled as abandoned, I am going to review it like it is complete because it is on this site listed as a map and if it wasn't fit to be played it wouldn't be here.

I was pleased to see enemies in this map, I thought maybe this would be a map with actual objectives and gameplay. Well, I barely got to interact with the enemies because the numerous allies scattered around the map killed them all very fast. I think I may have shot two enemies before having nothing else to shoot.

The map itself is a garish mishmash of random stuff. There is a lot of porn in this map, some of it quite gross. There are also random celebrity pictures, but the images are low res and stretched so it's hard to tell who these people even are. Plus the age of the map and with how quick things fall into and out of the limelight means that the joke is lost to the sands of time, if there even was one. There were several "secrets" that had no point and lead nowhere. I am not sure if these secrets were unfinished, meant to do nothing, or had some deeper meaning I have failed to grasp.

There was one section of platforming that we could not get to without turning gravity down very low and floating to the finish like Charlie in the Chocolate Factory. Is that how you are meant to unlock that secret? You have to turn down gravity?

There are coins scattered around that seemingly do nothing, and there are cubes that the game keeps track of as 'completion cubes'. I was pleased there was a goal to this map, but upon breaking the second cube found at the end of the aforementioned inaccessible platforming a message popped up saying '1 of 5 cubes found'. We never found any more cubes and once again I had to wonder if this was something left unfinished.

Overall, every good thing I liked about this map had a pretty significant downside. There is no actual way to 'beat' this map. The 'random' nature of the map is less interesting and more garish and gross. There was one part with a pushing force into electrified wall that neither my teammate nor i actually wanted to attempt more than a couple of times. There is probably a third cube there but I don't care enough to try getting it.


  • Some actual gameplay compared to the 4chan map
  • vaguely interesting, for at least a few minutes.


  • The secrets are useless and they suck
  • The enemies disappear as quickly as they come without player intervention
  • the puzzles are annoying
  • the whole map looks garish and some walls are gross pornography
  • The map is unifinished and it shows
  • I don't think the map is beatable in its current state.
Score: 3 / 10
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