Map Review of mechanized-death:army-of-none

by GrandmasterJ | January 23, 2022 | 5312 characters

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The screenshots looked good, I wanted to fight a giant mech, I was so excited for this map. There are two maps in this set, and only one contains a giant mech, so it was a little bit of a letdown.

The first map is forgettable and I question why it was there at all. Players first have to climb a shelf right in the beginning and I had a lot of trouble with it. The goemetry was all weird, there were two shelves and one didn't seem to want to let me climb it. It took me several tries to get over it. I even used grenades thinking we had to blow our way out. My teammate had zero problem getting over it so maybe its just me. But this was not a good start to what I imagined was a kick-ass boss fight map set.

The first map is real short, there was a confusing bit where players had to open an elevator, so they needed to go into a teleporter that appeared to go into a big water tank with an icky in order to kill it and get a keycard. Another trip through a teleporter puts us back in the hallway where we backtrack to put the keycard into a computer and open an elevator. There was a fight with a minigun guy and the map was over. The keycard thing was awkward and didn't feel right, the whole map was boring.

The second map was better, I don't remember much of it but there was some combat against Team Fortress Classic characters and really long tedious walks. There was a section where players had to swim through a waterway in order to access a pipe. This trip was really long, boring, and tedious. The map only has one spawn point update that happens at the very end, so when we died we had to go through this pipe over and over again. It was awful. The combat was fun, but having to walk through the level to get back to the action was awful. Eventually there was a tiny elevator that barely fit two people that took us to an obvious arena.

We were clearly in an arena and the screenshots show the mech in here. I was a little disappointed when more Team Fortress Classic guys appeared. At this point the map picks up considerably. The spawn point updates to be right next to an ammo dispenser and players begin to spawn with a large multitude of weapons. There is a whole team of friendly NPCs here to help the player, they can not die, and are named after members of the Sven Co-op community. They talk to some shack for a bit and continue to tease the player for the inevitable mech fight. Waves of enemies spawn in, mostly Team Fortress Classic mercs and robogrunts. I had a lot of fun here, there are ammo dispensers scattered around that enabled me to pepper the enemies with explosives. I couldn't kill my allies and I had the weapons and ammo to do so. Enemies here, especially the robogrunts, have lots of health so you can pound them hard with rockets before they die.

After the waves were over it was time. A giant mech walked over the wall. It was friendly but I knew that would change. I threw a stack of satchel charges below it and detonated them the moment it became hostile. It took off thousands of health but it had plenty more. Some killer music kicked in and the one thing I had been waiting for started. The mech itself is great, it has a beautiful custom model with some giant miniguns, it has devastating (and somewhat janky looking) attacks, and is a very intimidating foe to be fighting against. It stomped over to our spawn and began killing us before we could switch from our crowbar to a more suitable weapon. It eventually stomped away but I was worried for a minute that we would have to get spawn killed for the rest of the game. There are some pipes in the arena that I took cover behind to great effect. Tons of rockets, M16 grenades, and tau cannon blasts later the mech came down. The pilot ejected and ran up to us but my teammate and I both pulled out SAWs and mercilessly gunned him down. The map ended after that.

This map set is such a tease, but not in a good way. The first map isn't very good and if short and forgettable, I recommend skipping to the second. The second map has a very long path to the end with no updated spawn point until the very end. The combat was good, but is undercut but the vast amount of time it took to get there. It wasn't until I was in the arena that I felt like the game was suitably ramping up to such a fight. Then the mech came in and it was all gravy.


  • The enemy composition was based off Team Fortress Classic; varied and fun enemies
  • Weapons and ammo were plentiful, generous helpings at the end when it was most needed
  • The ending mech fight was well done and fun
  • Lots of custom models, the mech looked very intimidating
  • Thank the lord the spawn point updated at the end, this map would suck if it didn't


  • The first map could have been omitted with nothing lost
  • The first map was annoying and had nonsense objectives
  • Those long pipes in the second map prolonged the walk of shame back to the front by a lot
  • The buildup to the mech was not great, exacerbated by the long walks back to the front
Score: 6.5 / 10
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