Map Review of garg-football

by dunkelschwamm | March 5, 2022 | 2080 characters

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Garg Football is a map that asks not what a good Half-Life or Sven Co-op level could be, but what MORE could be done with the mechanics and tools provided by these devkits? The answer is obvious: gambling on big beefy aliens playing footie.

Two gargs bat around a "ball" with their tremendous feets and two goalies attempt to also kick the "ball" and their positioning via clever clipping makes their kicks look aimed and intentional. Whenever the ball passes through the goal post a scoreboard is updated to reflect the point.

If I recall correctly (and I probably don't) this, at one point, came included in Sven Co-op. I think it still should, frankly. It's a really cute map.

The presentation is simple and elegant. A xen field with minimal distraction, but some xen flora for flourish. Players watch from a suspended invisible ceiling. Gargs will not acknowledge the players.

If you're looking to run a gambling server(?) then throw this on the rotation. This could be a cute map to pull out in a party. Frankly, I think this is the type of map that should be cloned over and over again with minor mutations to create, essentially, themed wallpapers. I guess, what I'm saying, is that I think this is a good map.


  • It's a perfect and elegant execution of its concept
  • It's really creative and cute
  • It works shockingly well
  • It adds an entirely new dynamic to Sven Co-op: betting on dumb aliens doing dumb shit
  • More than the minimum amount of effort went into this


  • It doesn't always work, and sometimes the gargs get caught up for a while "trying" to play
  • Sometimes the gargs play against themselves or goalies hit the ball through the same point twice
  • For me, at least, it gets old as something to actively participate in. Then again, I don't gamble
Score: 7.5 / 10
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