Map Review of punk-secret-place

by GrandmasterJ | July 28, 2022 | 4631 characters

Sorry, we couldn't find any images attached to this page.

This map will crash your game. I'm somewhat spoiling the punchline, but I think this is very important to know up front. Falling into the green goo at the end of the map will crash the game with a "Sv_HullPointContent: bad node number". Knowing what I do about the author, Robootto, I think this is entirely intentional.

The map starts off strong with a very nice equipment room, but the rest of the map is a hallway. There are a few branches to this hallway but before The Door they are shallow and some have more supplies. Right outside of the spawn area is a small window where players can glimpse The Door. I didn't realize it at first, but my teammate shot the door, saw the glass bullet hole textures, and correctly guessed that the door was a breakable with extremely high health. We hit it with RPGs, banana grenades, then we cheated and used the SAW because we were getting bored. Down the hallway is a drop where players have to face a long hallway full of breakable doors. That is something this map has, breakable glass walls that look like doors, but no actual doors. After thousands of doors (I certainly ran out of all my bullet ammo and had to resort to the crowbar not even halfway through, it felt like thousands) we arrive at The Door. After more cheating and shooting The Door breaks and we go through a series of rooms with semi-interesting things in them and some hurt brushes.

Then we got some more hallway, a staircase with a lip that players have to duck under to get past, and the upstairs area is a maze with the ceiling so low players have to slowly crouch through it. It's not quite a maze because there aren't that many branches and it is incredibly easy to solve, but it is long and has nothing at the end. Also, some of the maze walls don't connect to the ceiling, so players can jump to glimpse through the cracks and see into the noob box. Up the staircase is nothing, skip it and go past to the hallway. Then some more rooms, a quick water section and the Fun Room.

The Fun Room is the end of the level, there is a wide pool of the aforementioned crash water that is only about one unit deep along with three ways to cross to the other side. There are platforms which neither my teammate or I dared to jump on, a rail that got me to the other side just fine, and a ladder on the ceiling that didn't work. At the other end are large block letters that designate this area as the Fun Room, with a button on one of the letters that doesn't do anything.

Looking back on my review, I wrote a lot for a map that has so little happening. I got bored writing this review. Also a little angry that the map crashes in the goo but hey, at least the map was over. I do kinda like the gag that The Door is visible from spawn and we have to destroy it with the weapons and supplies in spawn, but I only get to have that opinion with the luxury of cheats. It's a gimmick to troll players. The whole map is just to troll players.

Edit 8/8/2022: So shortly after posting this review the map has been updated to fix some of the problems. I have mixed feelings about that. Maps should be updated to prevent crashes and such, but some changes, like lowering the health for The Door, changes how the map plays and thus fundamentally changes what the author intended. Robootto maps exist as quasi-art, not quite a playable map but more of an exhibit best enjoyed via noclip and as such are exceptions to many of the rules. In the end I can only really accept the crash fix. The map was meant to be played this way, which is not fun, and changing that alters the author's intentions. The map is not good for actual gameplay, but it is a very interesting piece to explore from noclip. Quality of life changes fundamentally alter the experience and turns the map into something the author never intended. I'll adjust my score to account for the crash fix but the rest of my review stands, that is the map I played and that is my experience of it.


  • I kind of sort of like the door gag
  • I love the mass of supplies at spawn


  • The door gimmick is made to troll players
  • lots of walking, lots of nothing happening
  • visibly sloppy level work
  • I cheated to skip from spawn to where I needed to go, I'm not walking down that long hallway again
  • ladders don't work, buttons don't work, map doesn't end
Score: 1 / 10
Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License